


Panic Room

by sam_sam_17362



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Crying, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, M/M, Panic Attacks, Songfic, Swearing, its 1 am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-01 21:43:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19186015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sam_sam_17362/pseuds/sam_sam_17362
Summary: Virgil is just hanging out in his room when things get super out of hand and he has a huge panic attack. The other sides rush in to help him, but find Virgil in a worse state than they thought.Sorry, I'm not great with summaries.





	Panic Room

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all! There is a very big panic attack in this fic, so if you find that triggering or uncomfortable, skip this one, there'll be plenty more fics in the future!
> 
> :)

Virgil was walking through the hallway of the mind palace, listening to a song playing through his headphones as he made his way to his room.

‘Welcome to the panic room, where all your darkest fears are gonna come for you, come for you’ 

He hummed along, chuckling to himself because it was just like his room. His room where the only way to escape from the voices that followed you was music that was probably way too loud. His room that he was on his way to right now. He paused at the door, pulling out his phone and skipping a song, before pulling the door open and stepping inside. 

As soon as the door was closed, he heard the whispers that the voices always started out as. They were easy to ignore when they were just whispers. Sometimes they were so quiet you could barely hear them. Today seemed to be one of those days, so Virgil simply left his music quiet and went about his day. 

It was a couple hours later when he noticed the whispers were completely gone. This was very suspicious, but who was Virgil to look a gift horse in the mouth. He simply put his guard up and continued fixing up his sweater. Out of the corner of his eye, Virgil saw something move. This was definitely new and probably something to be worried about. He slowly turned towards the object, only to be new with a wispy, black and white movie style Roman. Fake Roman took a step towards him, and Virgil took a step back. 

Virgil jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder, looking behind him to find himself staring at a wispy Patton. Fake Patton’s hand squeezed his shoulder so hard it hurt, and smiled. There was something so very wrong and unsettling about that smile and Virgil was sure he would see it again in a nightmare. He could feel the color slowly draining from his face and his breathing picking up speed as he started panicking. 

“Going somewhere kiddo?” Fake Patton asked with a dark voice that sent shivers down Virgil’s spine.

“I uh- I don’t- no.” Virgil was scared and he felt adrenaline starting to rush through his body as well as his fight or flight reflexes kicking in.

There was a shuffle next to him and he turned to see Fake Logan, just as wispy and unsettling as the others. 

“Falsehood. You’re trying to leave us. We just want to talk. Isn’t that right?” 

Murmurs of agreement surrounded him and Virgil took another step backwards only to find himself backed up against the wall and completely caged in by Fake Roman, Patton and Logan. 

“Oh Virgil,” Fake Roman murmured into his ear, holding his head in place with a hand under his chin, “how could I love you? You’re broken. You drag Thomas down. You drag all of us down. You’re worthless.” Fake Roman spat as he roughly pushed Virgil back against the wall. 

“Roman is correct. Thomas was doing so much better before you showed up. We all were. You’re not needed. You never were and you never will be.” Logan agreed, with a dark voice that made Virgil's skin crawl.

“Patton?” Virgil pleaded, voice breaking as he looked to the fatherly side he had always loved. 

“Virgil kiddo, you know they’re right. You’re nothing. None of us need you here. None of us even want you here.” Fake Patton said softly, in a voice that could only be described as caring which was a stark contrast to the words coming out of his mouth. 

Virgil broke. 

“Oh god- I- what do you- please! No you can’t mean this! I thought I was part of the group now? Please don’t do this.” He begged, voice breaking and sobs wracking his body with every word. “You can’t do this.” He whispered, looking up to Patton once more hoping this was all some horrific sick joke.

“Oh but we can.” Was the reply he got.

The voices that had started out as whispers were suddenly shouting at him, all talking over each other so Virgil could only make out a word or two every so often. 

Worthless

Stupid

Weak

Useless

Virgil found himself sliding down the wall and curling up with his head resting on his knees. His hands made their way up to his ears, trying to block out some of what the other sides were saying. Tears were streaming down his face and he could barely breathe. His mind was swimming and he was so confused.

These were his friends, they wouldn’t do this.

Why not? You know everything that they’re saying is true. 

But they wouldn’t just DO something like this. This wasn’t like them. This wasn’t real, this couldn’t be real. 

Could it?

Virgil screamed as he felt hands pulling at him, kicking at whoever was touching him. He wouldn’t let them hurt him, he wouldn’t let them get him, he’d be strong, he’d show them they were wrong, he’d-

“Virgil! Listen to me! They’re not real! They’re not real! They’re lying! Virgil please, look at me! I need you to look at me! I need you to- fuck Patton this isn’t working, I’m taking him to my room, he can’t be in here anymore. This is where I draw the line.” Roman- the real one this time- said as he picked Virgil up, hurriedly getting him as far away from his room as possible. Virgil was still kicking and screaming, his voice doubling over more than Roman had ever heard before. 

“Please, do- don’t do this I don’t- I don’t- please!” Virgil screamed writhing in Roman’s grip and Roman could feel his heart break a little more with every word out Virgil’s mouth.

“Virgil, it’s me, listen to my voice, I won’t hurt you, I love you, remember? Remember I told you I loved you for the first time while we were watching Nightmare Before Christmas on your birthday last year. Virgil please, please listen to me.” Roman begged, voice wavering as Virgil seemed to only get more distressed.

“No I’m-I’m sor- sor- rry, I’m sorry I’ll do better I pro- omise, please!” Virgil screamed, shaking and sobbing, still not being able to get a proper breath in. Roman could feel Thomas starting to get a headache and Virgil’s eyeshadow was noticeably darker despite the tears still pouring down his face. This was bad. This was so very bad, and Roman didn’t know if he could fix it. 

Finally they reached Roman’s room, and Roman practically kicked open the door. He laid Virgil down on his bed, and watched as he quickly put as much distance between the two of them as he could. Patton and Logan came running into his room barely a few seconds later, in varying stages of panic. Logan was the most level-headed, Patton was freaking out and pacing back and forth, and Roman was trying to get the both of them at least slightly calmer so that they could help get Virgil to calm down.

“Logan what the hell were those… THINGS in his room?! They looked exactly like us, and did you HEAR what they were saying to Virgil, no wonder he’s freaking out, I would be too if that happened!! What was that!?” Patton screamed in Logan’s general direction. 

“I have no FUCKING CLUE PATTON!! If I knew what was happening in Virgil’s room, I’d be back there fixing it, not standing here wasting time!!” Logan screamed back.

“BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!!” Roman screeched at the top of his lungs, which seemed to catch the bickering sides’ attention. “Virgil’s room is completely off limits. Nobody is ever allowed to go in there ever again. Now if you two are done arguing like children, how do you propose we go about helping Virgil? He’s so scared right now, and I have no idea how to fix it.” 

“Roman, he won’t let any of us near him, how are we supposed to help him?” Logan asked, incredulous. 

“I don’t fucking know, you’re supposed to be the smart one Logan!” Roman retorted.

“Well you’re supposed to be the creative one Roman!” Logan yelled, pointing a finger at Roman.

Patton was inching closer to Virgil, who was sitting on Roman’s bed, knees pulled up to his chest, still screaming and babbling incoherently. Once Patton was close enough to touch him, he softly put a hand on Virgil’s knee.

“Virgil? Virgil kiddo, I need you to listen to me,” Virgil seemed to relax a little at the sound of Patton’s voice, so Patton took this to mean that he was doing good, “none of that was real. None of what you just saw was real. We would never do that to you. That was your room Virgil.” Virgil had scooted a bit closer and quieted down significantly, so Patton kept talking.

“You’re safe now. Roman heard what was happening and got you out of there. You’re in Roman’s room now. Nothing is going to hurt you. We won’t let anything hurt you Virgil.” Patton softly explained to him. Upon hearing Patton and understanding enough of what was happening that he knew this was the real Patton, Virgil collapsed into his grip and buried his face in Patton’s neck, sobbing.

Patton did not hesitate to pull Virgil as close as he could and hold him, rubbing soft circles into his back.  
Roman and Logan, quickly made their way over to where Virgil and Patton were once they realized Virgil wasn’t screaming in panic and fear anymore. Virgil looked so small in Patton’s grip, still shaking and sobbing, and the sight broke Roman’s heart.

Virgil’s sobbing gradually got quieter until the occasional shuddering intake of breath was all that could be heard in the room. 

“Virgil, honey are you ok?” Roman was the first one to break the silence, looking towards Virgil with concern spelled out in his facial features. 

Virgil took a long shuddering breath, “I think so,” he croaked out. 

“Logan can you get him some water?” Patton asked, and Logan hurried out of the room to complete the task. 

“You gave Roman quite the scare kiddo.” Patton said softly, pulling his arm from where it was draped across Virgil’s shoulders. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t-”

“Virgil. Stop. Do not, ever. under any circumstances apologize for having a panic attack. Ever.” Roman interrupted, with a low voice and worried eyes. 

“You guys shouldn’t have to deal with this bullshit. I’m such a mess all the ti-”

“Virgil. It’s ok. If I didn’t help you through things like this, what kind of boyfriend would I be? A bad one.” Roman said picking Virgil’s hands up from where they were gripping the sheets to pull Virgil onto his lap and cuddle him.  
Logan returned with the glass of water, then left again saying something to go visit Virgil’s room and see what was happening there.

“Virgil, I hope you’re feeling better now.” Patton said as he stood up and made his way out of the room, leaving just Virgil and Roman.

Roman picked up the glass of water and handed it to Virgil, who drank the whole thing in about 3 seconds. Roman chuckled, took the empty glass, and set it on the side table. 

“I need to make a request.” He said, looking at Virgil.

“Okay?”

“You’re not allowed in your room anymore until we figure out what the hell happened in there today. I’ll go with you later to get you some clothes and your phone and whotnot, but after that it’s off limits. You’re gonna be staying with me, ok?”

Virgil sighed, “Ok. At least I get cuddles out of this whole ordeal.” He said with a dry, shaky laugh.  
“Cuddles are always nice. So are post-panic-attack-naps.” Roman said, wrapping his arms around Virgil’s midsection, and laying down so that Virgil was laid out with his head over Roman’s heartbeat.

“I love you Roman.”  
“I love you too Virgil.”


End file.
